As many of you know from Cecily's blog, we are again beginning the journey of trying to start a family after the traglic loss of our dear boys, Nick and Zack, at 22 weeks gestation last October. It is sometimes difficult to even understand, let alone express, the chaotic storm of feelings that surrounds this part of our journey. I have come close to losing Cecily, in the most permanent way one person can lose another, twice in our time together: once to addiction, and the other to preeclampsia. And while I do not relish the opportunity of playing Russian roulette with her life for a third time, nor the idea of again enduring the crushing pain that the loss of a child brings, she and I both are making every effort to focus on the joy that a happy, healthy child will add to our lives.
The best way I can express it is as a group of explorers entering a dark and unknown valley in search of paradise on the other side. They understand the risks involved, and know too the power of fear, so rather than turn back or ride on in silence, they sing.
Those of you who know me also know I am not a religious man. Since the loss of our boys, I am not even a spiritual man. I do not believe that a kindly old watch-maker looks down upon us with keen interest and tenderness. I do know, however, that we enjoy the rare fortune of having true and generous friends, caring and skilled physicians, a deep love for each other, and the ability and willingness to be loving parents. And regardless of what lies ahead, these will be the wings that carry our song.
Thank you all for the kindness and support you continue to show both of us.