My 30-year high school reunion is this year. My attendance is unlikely, mostly because the few friends from that time with whom I stay in touch aren't going either. Vacations, family plans, miles of concrete have gotten in the way. It's alright. Truthfully I've been able to reconnect with nearly all my old friends through social media sites like Facebook. And since I attended 3 high schools in 4 years, I really never knew that many of my fellow grads anyway.
My high school years were rather unremarkable. I was the invisible kid. Bad at sports, joined no clubs, wasn't in a band, never had a date. I just "did my own time" as the jailhouse saying goes. Got up, went to class, came home, did homework, watched TV. Then, late in my senior year, I discovered diners, and that it was possible to hang out for hours with a few friends just shooting the shit at some greasy spoon. A few of us who were also dateless non-athletes spent our nights driving around the county from diner to diner, I think secretly hoping we'd discover a group of stranded Penthouse Pets whose van had broken down. That never happened.
Thirty years later, I look back o that time and try to make sense of it in terms of our society's current techno-obsession with interconnectedness. These days, every high school kid seems to have a cell phone, as well as s Facebook or Myspace page and maybe even a Twitter account. I remember trying to gather the courage to pick up the lime green Princess phone to call a girl for a date (only to be gently told to go away by said girl). These days it must be easier. You chat on FB, share photos, etc. There are so many ways to interact using simply your laptop. Certainly would have helped me eliminate those stammering awkward phone calls.
I do think teens have it easier now. Yes, there are stalkers and crazies. But generally the Net creates a more even footing. the jocks have their playing field, but on the Net, nobody cares how fast you can throw or run. Social media favors the witty, the snarky, the darkly funny, the geeks. Can't help but wonder if I might have participated in my life to a greater degree had today's technology been available then.
That's a really interesting thought, Charlie. I never thought about it in terms of high school, but you are right.
One of the things that I like about blogs is that it's hard to make a meal of superficial, shallow nonsense. Of course lots of blogs do. But not the ones I read. The ~quality~ of the connections online can be very good because the medium can rise easily above the level of small talk and it is, as you say, more of a level field at first ... you reveal yourself more on your own terms. It could take years IRL to get a feel for someone's personality and character and to know some of their experiences ... vs. just reading a well written personal blog for a year. Plus you get to know great people that you'd never have the chance to connect with IRL because the things you have n common are too invisible socially/IRL ... which is why I love it. It beats the hell out of small talk and othr bs at the kids' bus stop or in the usual parenting venues ... which is just what? High School, the sequel?
I don't know if online life would have made me more popular or celebrated. But it does make everyone less isolated ... it's easier to find like minds. And as a teenager, that's and especially big deal. It's like an essential mineral. Without some of it, your spirit warps thinking you are the only one who (fill in the blank).
Posted by: PaleMother | July 13, 2010 at 01:29 PM
You never mentioned the part about the Penthouse Pets in the broken van. If you had, we might have driven to different places!
They were unlikely to show up in Devon, anyway.
Posted by: Andrew | July 13, 2010 at 02:49 PM
LOL.
Posted by: Charlie | July 13, 2010 at 08:05 PM
On the other hand, it makes cyber-bullying easier, too. It's always something.
My 30 year reunion is actually next week. At least according to the spam I keep getting from the reunion committee. I have no interest whatsoever in going. I didn't like those people then, why would i like them now? My best friend from high school is still a good friend.
I went to two high schools in four years--that sucked a lot. I can't imagine three in four years. How did that come about?
Jules
Posted by: sparkly jules | July 13, 2010 at 11:45 PM
Jules -
HS #1 was in NYC, where I'd gone to Jr High.
HS#2 We moved to the Philly burbs so my dad could take a new job. He put me in Prep School.
HS#3 Prep School was a nightmare and I lobbied hard for public school. My dad finally relented. Turns out the devil you don't know is better than the devil you do.
Posted by: Charlie | July 14, 2010 at 08:03 AM
I worked pretty hard to stay invisible in high school, it was safer if you were 'different' to just be invisible. However, I have reconnected with many old classmates and while my strategy worked (a number of them do not remember me;)) most of them actually had good memories of me. And some of the kids I knew then have turned out to be pretty good online friends as adults. We have all compared notes and found out that we all thought everything sucked back then;) And turns out that some of them had far bigger problems than I did.
And not sure if I agree with you that hs is easier with social media, my kids are on fb etc and there is constant drama about who says what to whom. There is still a 'social register' and they all know who is where on it. And somehow I find it disturbing that so many kids, mine included, prefer to text or im rather than communicate face to face or even via the phone. Might be easier and more fun now, but what about the long run? Will they only be able to deal with others while being a step back from them?
Sorry to write a book;)
Posted by: Tracy | July 14, 2010 at 11:55 AM
Tracy -
I'm not married to the idea that today's kids have it easier b/c of social media. As you point out, we've taken a group of filterless people (teens) and given them instant access to filterless communication (the Internet). So while some awkwardness may be removed, gossip is increased. Interesting point. Call me when my kiddo is a tween.
Posted by: Charlie | July 14, 2010 at 02:37 PM
Just went to my 30th reunion on Saturday. Facebook has been a great icebreaker where that reconnecting has been concerned, but overall it was still surreal.
Posted by: Celeste | July 14, 2010 at 03:56 PM
Perhaps social media levels out some of the awkwardness of high school, it does not diminsh the snarkiness of kids. My 15 year old daughter was NOT invited to go to a concert with her BF because BF's cheerleader friends don't like my kid. So, it's different in some aspects, but the same in others.
Posted by: Theresa | July 16, 2010 at 02:00 PM
T - Wow, that blows. Guess that old fashioned teenage cruelty is more than a match for social media. Time to rethink my theory. *returns to underground laboratory*
(PS - My daughter pointed to a set of mini pompoms at the market yesterday and asked if she could have them. When fish grow antlers, I said.
Posted by: Charlie | July 18, 2010 at 08:31 AM
I'm looking forward to a highschool reunion that same weekend. Only smaller.
Posted by: Thomas | July 19, 2010 at 09:15 PM
I remember most of the kids from my class used to hang out at Yonny's at 15th and Cherry while my friends and I would hang out at a diner that's closed now: Rich and Murray's. (Sometimes I'd hide out in the Burger King of Suburban station to get a paper done before class. Hard to believe I got away with cutting class so much in such a small school.)
Having a hard time picturing you as shy in HS, Charlie! You sure made up for it. Between you and Cecily, Tori's going to be a real pistol. (Well, I hear she already is.)
Posted by: Angela | August 01, 2010 at 12:26 AM
Yeh Angela, I was a shy teenager. I credit booze for fixing that. I was able to do things drunk I couldn't do sober. Then after I'd done them awhile that way, I could do them without being intoxicated.
Posted by: Charlie | August 09, 2010 at 03:56 PM