It ain't all pizzas and cream

Feb 9, 2010 / Snotastrofu¢k Part Deux

So here we are. A foot and a half of Saturday's snow still on the ground, and another 2 feet coming. So, just a few stats: 2010 will be (after this storm) the worst winter in Philly's recorded history.  And the first time the city has experienced three 20+ inch storms in a single season. And the first time the city has, to my knowledge, had five Nor'easters in a single winter (two of which were rain).

And it's only February 9th.

So, what do you do? If you're like me, you stock essentials, replace the driver's side wiper blade (which flung a critical part of itself into oblivion during the last storm), and bind up your cut hands from the last dig-out (when you stupidly left your gloves in the van). Then you resist the compulsion to rant at the things you cannot change. You practice acceptance. Of course, it's the same kind of acceptance practiced by someone in a rollover wreck, who suddenly finds himself upside down in his car at the bottom of a ravine.  The guy who says, "Well, my limbs aren't broken, and there's a half a bag of Cheetos and a bottle of Dr. Pepper in the car. Now if I can just get out of this seat belt before the car explodes, maybe I'll have a snack."  

Hey, what did you expect? That, in my book, is acceptance.

I hope all of you in the Mid-Atlantic states weather this shitstorm safely.

______________________

PS - If you see God wandering around out there admiring His handiwork, punch Him in the mouth for me.

______________________

PPS - Yes, I'm still an atheist, but it's a funny line.

Feb 7, 2010 / Worst. Winter. Ever.

OK it's official. This winter is a catastrofu¢k. Spent the better part of the afternoon digging out the drive, brooming 2 feet of powder off the car, etc. Half expected to open the van to find stranded skiers cannibalizing each other. Fortunately, however, no. Because that would have been messy. 

Sorry, no photos of the sparkling driveway, but I wasn't in the mood. Besides, my hands are all cut up and blistered. And they're talking about another snowstorm in 48 hours.  The weather is officially broken. But if this is global "warming," they may want to rethink the terminology. How about "Global Weather Clusterfu¢k"?

Gotta say tho, Tori has been great. She's gone easy on the old man, and has been pretty cooperative about eating, sleeping, bathing, cleaning up, and above all, being patient as daddy tries to parent single-handed. Aces to you, kiddo. You're the best.

Also to Ari and Elise and their wonderful daughters, for letting us visit while we were still a bit bughouse from being snowed in for 2 days... Thank you!

Cecily, we miss you something fierce. Get home safe!  xoxo

Feb 6, 2010 / The Superbowl Weekend Blizzard of 2010

That's what I'm figuring they'll call it. The first winter in Pennsylvania history where we've had two 20+ inch snowstorms.  Trying to keep spirits up. I am NOT a snow person. Snow is the stuff of songs and postcards. I don't ski or sled or skate. So snow = shoveling. And I don't like shoveling. Nor being housebound with a rammy preschooler while Cecily is away and I have no child care. OK, rant over.

Enjoy the photos...

I left my gloves in the van yesterday.

 

Even the dog is... WTF?

Feb 5, 2010 / This moment of cuteness...

...brought to you by Tori & Canny. (Yes, the Snow White costume was her idea, it's from Halloween.)

Feb 4, 2010 / Humiliating moments in parenting history

Having been a brown-bag drunk for so many years, I'm nearly immune to shame. I've fallen down in the street, panhandled for change, played harmonica in bars for free drinks, and been thrown out of a McDonalds for vagrancy. So very little gets to me these days.

However...

Showing up to my 3-year-old's ballet class, I was taken aside by the teacher, who very kindly and gently told me that she'd been instructed by the business office not to let Tori dance until our back balance was paid. Yeh. I told Tori to get her ballet shoes on anyway. Because I was NOT going to take her out of there screaming and crying because we were too broke to afford the classes. I asked for the phone number of the office, which the teacher luckily had in her cell. And, luckily again, someone was there to answer my call, and we were able to make an arrangement (which likely means that my check to the water company, which I'd stupidly mailed hours earlier, will bounce).

But it was quite a flashback for me. I remember being tossed from a bar in New Orleans (and that takes some doing) while on my first honeymoon. I remember panhandling on a Philly streetcorner, only to discover that the person from whom I was begging was a former coworker. I envisioned my grandfather at the relief office. Or packing up the family and skipping on the rent in the dead of night.

 But Tori got to dance. And at the end of her lesson she showed off her moves and sprang gleefully into my arms. Which is the important thing.

Feb 3, 2010 / Unmanageable

Oh, where to begin ... Cecily's been struggling with tooth pain lately, plus a cracked tooth (different tooth) and learned today that she would need not one, but two root canals. And even tho we have dental insurance, the tab will still run a several grand.  So it looks like we'll be doing an installment plan (also known as pay-by-procedure), given that the waiting list for the local dental schools is about 8 months long.

Of course, what would a dental emergency be without a pressing travel obligation? Tomorrow she flies off too Tennessee for the BlissDom conference (which I'm told has nothing whatever to do with being a happy dominatrix). She's of course a trooper, and is packing her Anbesol and Advil. On a strangely humorous side note: the BlissDom conference is sharing the resort and conference facilities with the first Tea Partiers Convention. Seems the hotel took a bet as to how many Conservatives they could fit into an indoor pool. Sort of the Southern version of the clown car. Bonus: Sarah Palin herself will be there. And somehow I know she and Cecily will end up in an elevator together.

And for the trifecta, we're expecting a blizzard here while I'm being solo daddy.  Apparently another clown car bet: how many Nor'easters can you jam into one winter?

So, wish us luck.

We're gonna need it.

Feb 1, 2010 / Happy Belated Birthday to...

This blog. This blog turned 5 last Thursday. I hadn't really thought about that until now. Five years is a long time. Longer than my daughter's been on Earth. Longer than most people own a car without at least considering trade-in.  Longer than a Presidential term. A nickel, in prison parlance. Five years. I always knew I was long-winded, but I'm honestly a little surprised this blog is still here. Because, along with long-winded, I am something else: a quitter. I quit things, sometimes on a whim.

Yet here we are.

Thanks for not quitting on me. 

Now let's blow out the goddamn candles.